You may be able to help a loved one experiencing bulimia by supporting their recovery, educating yourself about eating disorders, and avoiding comments about their body or weight.

If someone you care about has an eating disorder like bulimia, you may be able to help support their recovery.

Bulimia is an eating disorder characterized by periods of binge eating, or eating much more than is typical in a short period, followed by compensatory behaviors such as:

  • vomiting
  • fasting
  • excessive exercise
  • diuretic use
  • laxative use

These symptoms occur typically at least once a week for 3 months. These behaviors are usually intended to reduce the person’s guilt about eating and prevent weight gain.

However, these compensatory behaviors are not effective. Instead, they can cause dangerous side effects and may increase the person’s feelings of shame.

Keep reading to learn how to be supportive of a loved one with bulimia, where to find more information about bulimia, what to expect during their recovery, and where you can find support.

Help is available

If someone you care about is preoccupied with food or your weight, feels guilt about food choices, or engages in restrictive diets, consider reaching out for support. These behaviors may indicate a disordered relationship with food or an eating disorder.

Disordered eating and eating disorders can affect anyone, regardless of gender identity, race, age, socioeconomic status, or other identities.

They can be caused by any combination of biological, social, cultural, and environmental factors, not just by exposure to diet culture.

Consider asking your loved one to speak with a healthcare professional or contact the National Alliance for Eating Disorders, which offers a daytime helpline staffed by licensed therapists and an online search tool for treatment options. For general mental health support at any time, you can call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration 24 hours a day at 1-800-662-4357 (or 1-800-487-4889 for TTY).

If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, you can also contact the 988 Lifeline by calling or texting 988.

The best way to support a loved one during their recovery from bulimia is to provide the level of care and support they need while helping them build their self-esteem. The following tips may help:

Do:

  • Be calm and caring: Let them know you are there for them.
  • Treat them as more than their diagnosis: Remember, your loved one is a person with a life and interests. They are not defined by an eating disorder. When spending time together, try engaging with them in non-food-related activities and their interests, or try something new.
  • Invite them to spend time with you: Make sure they know you are there for them, even if it involves gently extending invitations they may not accept at first. Just being asked can make them feel included.
  • If they choose to talk about it, listen without judgment: Your loved one may not want to discuss their treatment or experience. But if they do, try to listen empathetically while supporting their recovery. Try not to judge or make them feel judged, which may make them feel worse.
  • Help build their self-esteem: Your loved one may be trying to manage low self-esteem. When opportunities arise, try to build them up by complimenting their abilities or attitudes, but avoid focusing any comments on their appearance. Consider engaging in self-care activities with your loved one, like mindfulness or yoga.

Do not:

  • Do not comment on their body or others’ bodies: Bulimia can affect people with all body types and sizes, and people of any age, gender, or ethnicity. Negative body image can develop when someone becomes overly critical of their body and compares it to others’ bodies or some “ideal” body type.
  • Do not comment on your body: Practice body neutrality, which promotes acceptance of your body as it is and decentralizes it as an object. Focus instead on what your body is capable of.
  • Do not tell them to “just eat”: This can make light of the emotional impact of bulimia and mental illness. Eating disorders are not a choice. Treating bulimia is not as simple as telling someone to eat. It is a complex diagnosis that requires patience, care, and appropriate treatment.
  • Do not blame them or make them feel guilty: Bulimia and other eating disorders may be rooted in feelings of shame and inadequacy. Avoid making your loved one feel worse.
  • Do not share or discuss content that promotes disordered eating: There’s a connection between social media use and negative body image. Taking stock of the content you watch and engage with may also benefit your loved one.

Bulimia can be life threatening.

It is a complex health condition and often requires a treatment approach that involves mental health support, medical attention, and nutrition support.

Educating yourself on disordered eating and eating disorders like bulimia nervosa may make you feel better equipped to help your loved one during their recovery.

Some topics to consider learning about include:

Bulimia is an eating disorder, and it’s strongly connected to mental health and body image.

You can also learn more about bulimia from trusted sources like the National Alliance for Eating Disorders and the National Eating Disorders Association.

Recovery from an eating disorder can be a slow process. Some people may receive multiple types of treatment. This may include:

  • Medical treatment: Medical care may treat complications like nutritional deficiencies and issues with the digestive system. Depending on the severity, this may take place in a hospital or a doctor’s office.
  • Psychotherapy or talk therapy: Therapy with a licensed professional can help your loved one with bulimia manage the potential beliefs, emotions, and relationships that may have contributed to their eating disorder. Therapy may also help them begin to adjust their relationship with food. Some people may stay at an outpatient mental health center for a part of their treatment, while others may receive therapy at a therapist’s office.
  • Family therapy: If the person with bulimia is an adolescent, a medical professional may recommend family therapy in addition to individual therapy.
  • Dietitian support: Your loved one with bulimia may work with a dietitian to learn to prepare nutritious meals and snacks and adjust their eating habits.
  • Medication: Treatment for bulimia may involve taking daily prescription medication.

Your loved one may or may not experience setbacks, and the recovery journey is rarely linear. Some people may manage the feelings and behaviors of their eating disorder for a long time.

It’s important to be a positive force in your loved one’s life, both immediately after their diagnosis and in the future.

Supporting someone you care about as they manage an eating disorder can be a difficult and emotional experience.

It’s important for your loved one’s recovery to withhold your advice, criticism, and judgment during their recovery and not make them feel like a burden.

It’s okay to seek help from a trained professional to manage your feelings and thoughts. You may also consider examining your own relationship with food and your body.

If you don’t already have a therapist, you can find one to speak to either in person or online.

Though it may be difficult, managing bulimia is possible with support. This can include support from doctors, therapists, dietitians, and loved ones.

You can help support a loved one’s recovery better if you learn about bulimia nervosa and help increase their self-esteem.

It’s important to avoid talking about their body or weight and focus your esteem-building efforts on their skills and accomplishments.

Remember, recovery can follow a nonlinear path and may involve setbacks. Letting your loved one know you care about them and are there for them may help them feel better as they navigate recovery.